Contaminating a Relationship

Everyone of us has an irrational and destructive emotional side to our personality. This dark side can sabotage your relationship .

Here are some of the most common characteristics and how they can impact a relationship.

Your a Score Keeper

Competing can quickly turn a relationship into an ugly battle of one-upmanship. How can you possibly be a winner if it is at the expense of making the person you supposedly love a loser? Solid relationships are built on sacrifice and caring, not power and control. Competiveness can drain the joy, confidence, and productivity out of any relationship.

Your a Fault Finder

There is nothing wrong with constructive criticism if it's designed to improve the relationship, But it can often give way to constant fault finding -- in which you obscess over the flaws and imperfections rather than find value in your partner.

You Think it's Your Way or the Highway

If you've always got to be right, then your ready to fight till the end.. the end of your relationship. You can't be selfrightious or obsessed with control and do whats best for your relationship at the same time.

You Turn Into an Attack Dog

When you get into an arguement, do you have a killer stare? A harsh tone and hurtful words? Attack dogs may experience short term gain, but the target of the abuse becomes filled with bitterness and resentment. While it's easy to fall into viciousness, it's much harder to repair the resulting consequences.


You are a Passive Warmonger

Instead of fault finding or engaging in character assassination, these toxic partners try to thwart their partner by constantly doing that which they deny they are doing-- in such an indirect way as to escape accountability if they are confronted. A passive aggressive person is as much of an over bearing controller as the most aggressive, in your face person you could imagine--only they do it insidiously and underhandly.

You Resort to Smoke and Mirrors

Because you lack the courage to get real about what is driving the pain and problems in your relationship, you criticize your partner about one thing when you're really upset about another. What is real never gets voiced and what gets voiced is never real.


You Will Not Forgive

When you choose to bear anger at your partner, you trap yourself in pain and agony--and the negative energy can crowd every other feeling out of your heart. If you wallow in resentment and refuse to forgive and move on, you will tear up your own life and your relationship. You can't change the past but you can deal with the resulting feelings and hurt by truely forgiving.

You are a Bottomless Pit
Are you so needy that you constantly undermine your chances of success? Can you never get enough satisfaction, love, attention, or appreciation? Your partner will be frustrated by never seeming able to "fill you up". We all want reassurance, but an insatiable appitite for it never gives your partner any rest.

You're To Comfortable
If your in a comfortable zone, you are failing to meet your responsibilities in the relationship. You are not contributing, your not Stimulating, and you arent energizing. If you don't make a move it becomes easier and easier to stagnate.


You've Given Up
When so much "bad" crowds your life, you cannot imagine there being any way out. You become so forlorn, lonely, isolated, negative, cynical and far from your core of conscienceness that you believe you are trapped. Be strong enough to confront your problems instead of giving up.

Thanks for posting this missarajoe, so true my dear.

Let's not forget the 'poor me' who is stuck in their own stuff and complains all the time, or the martyr who stays silent and thinks that they are self-sacrificing for a worthwhile cause (their own).

Relationships are often complex and require good communication to succeed. They are also wonderful opportunities to see ourselves through another's eyes and learn more about ourselves and others.

thanks Missarajoe for this interesting topic.